Here Comes the Feeling You Thought You’d Forgotten…

The synchronized rhythms of the drums, guitars, and piano fill the room.
With a well-tuned ear, they synthesize into a harmonious beat.
A DJ’s work is never done synchronizing, sequencing, amplifying, and mixing.
Playback, rewind, copy, and paste.  Repeat.
As one frequency crossfades into the next, the mastermind is already tuned into his next stroke, next move, and next effect.
The amalgamation of calculated measures and patterns entices the crowd and keeps them electrified for what might come next.
But what of the man behind the headphones so diligently scratching his turntable?
As I watch his movements and study his performance, the man is immersed in his element;
An element that allows him to release, express, and entertain.
He melodiously taps his left foot to the beat, 
His right ear shielded by the headphones that play his next tune, the left ear tuned into the current track.
Eyes fixated on the laptop that carries the hours of music, occasionally glancing down to the table to compose his next meter.
He is born with a God given gift for music and I find this man even more confident, mature, and attractive when he is “in the zone.”
He looks back and says to me, “Are you bored?”
The question takes me aback as I quickly dismiss his query.  
“Bored” is the last word that comes to mind.  
Enthralled, captivated, and transfixed are more in line with my thoughts at the moment.
A very familiar feeling has arisen from my being this last month.  
A feeling that I am attempting to quell, to quiet, and subdue, but one that continues to submerge every time I think of him and one that continues to grow with every passing day.
Sharing his music – his most intimate dreams, passions, and goals – reminded me of that feeling I’d thought I once forgotten.
There is nothing like seeing the man in your life succeed, progress, and fulfill the desires of his heart that Christ has placed there.
I believe in him.  I know his musical success is at the tips of his fingertips. 
But while God works out the path, timeline, and the series of events to lead him to his victory,
I am immersing myself in this overpowering, overwhelming, and magnificent emotion over and over again.
I hope to capture its heavenly harmonies and revel in its exquisiteness.  
Play it back, rewind, copy, and paste.  
Repeat forever.

Mr. and Mrs. Bence

Alex and Steve’s Wedding Poem.

Written with love: Raquel.

Dear Alex and Steve,

Congratulations! Today is the day you both tie the knot,

To stay with each other until your bodies do rot.

To take it back to when the story all began,

It was Christmas Eve four years ago when this boy became a man.

Shoprite was the location – amidst all the breads, cheeses, and fruit,

Where this young love blossomed and started to form its steadfast root.

Steve started it off with a post on Alex’s Facebook wall:

“Nice pics wink wink” was the bait that hooked this doll,

By September 2007, their relationship status said “engaged”

It was clear by then that their attraction could not be caged.

The dates, presents, and flirting only grew with time,

When it soon became certain that the wedding bells would one day chime.

Four years later, the long awaited ring finally came,

And today I proudly stand here as my sister gets a new name.

Love is rare and precious emotion that should surely be kept divine,

To coddle and preserve like a freshly aged wine.

As you take the bed tonight to enjoy the frills that come with being wed,

I hope you both keep beloved the vows that you just said.

My hope for you both is that you find your state of happy,

Remember to forgive quickly, give freely, and every once and awhile, be sappy.

I love you both.

Ephemeral Magnetism

Used flight tags, dirty dishes, and soiled washcloths are the vestiges from your stay.
Yet amongst the unclean and impure bedding, there lies a lingering fantasy and perfect stillness in the way the sheets pose sincerely on the shared mattress.The towels hang in the bathroom with a flawless purity about them; grimy and damp, but not a sense of deception in the manner.

To the naked eye, the apartment requires freshening up.
To my private eye, it is wonderful.
It embodies the kind of perfect you covet in romantic comedies; holding all of the joy, laughter, and imagination of a two hour script.
Suspended in the space is the innocence encountered when a high school couple resolves that they are ready to give it away on a starry summer night; pure, genuine and trusting.
Honesty embraces every inch of the six-hundred square feet, permeating through the sofa fabrics and threads of the tousled comforter.
A happy so complete it appears surreal and illusory.

“How did I get so lucky?”
“Is this real life?”
“How did this happen so fast?”
Queries that went unanswered and inconsequential in the three blissful days spent floating in the cosmos crafted by Walt Disney himself.

As the cliché goes: until we meet again, my príncipe azul.
Only this time, there are no movie reels, theaters, and popcorn.
Authenticity, affection, and tenderness are the contents of this film.
Until we meet again…

Food for Thought!

"See, what a lot of people fail to realize is that people that go to church aren't saints. They're far from it. In fact, the Church is like a religious hospital; those on the inside are sicker than those on the out."

AMEN!

Christian Men are Sexy!

Christian men are soooo sexy. Yea, I said it. Taboo? I think not.

The sex appeal of a Christian man is exuded in the way he wears Christ on his chest -

The confidence and swag that he gets knowing God is always by his side,

The smiles that brighten his face because God has supplied,

The cheery demeanor he carries even when its raining because inside him, Jesus is shining.

Christian men know that they are blessed. Know why? Because God says we are.

I want a man who takes his problems to Jesus,

Who is strong, beautiful, and sensitive in his life that the Lord has given.

This Christian man that I yearn for is not sexual, but intimate.

He does not demand, but is humble in his love for his family and Christ.

The Christian man I yearn is devoted to serving his family and wife in God's light.

He is unwavering because the rock that he stands on cannot be eroded.

Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

"You look amazing!"

My weight loss has done wonders for my endurance, health, body image, confidence, and dancing. I can honestly say that I am as small as I was in 8th grade when I lost 30 lbs the summer after 7th grade. I feel good - more importantly I feel healthy. I feel like I can actually accomplish things I couldn't before - lift weights, run a mile in 11 minutes, dance for hours without being tired. Health-wise I am happy. But there's this little part of me that still makes me feel upset every now and again. While I appreciate all the compliments and they fuel my motivation to continue, I can't help but feel curious and upset over the fact that I never really received compliments like that in the past. Ok so I am "beautiful," "amazing," and "gorgeous" now but what was I before? Ugly? I never really thought that I looked horrible before and maybe I'm just being pessimistic, but I can tell you that these men were not trying to holla at me before. Now that I lost the weight you think you're worth my time? Try again. It just goes to show you that looks really matter a lot in this society. It sucks. I always think of it as a compliment when people tell me I look amazing or beautiful now, but I always have that thought in my mind... what was I before? Why am I only these things now that I've lost 75 lbs? Oh well... just a thought.

4 Letters

L-O-V-E. They are just four measly letters, but put together, they are supposed to spell the most profound and deep emotions that this physical human existence can feel.

And I say “supposed to spell” because I often have doubts if this kind of love really exists.

We hear fairy tales and stories about how “he swept me off my feet” or how “I couldn’t live without him in my life.” But it’s just become meaningless words to me throughout the years. You can CLEARLY live your life without him - snap out of the trance, women!

I don’t think I can honestly say I’ve ever been in love yet sadly. I thought I was once for quite awhile, but it really wasn’t true love. It was forged, and the end of that relationship is telling of how forged our love was.

I honestly can't say I believe in true love anymore or that it even exists for everyone. Why is our life so defined by a series of events - love, engagement, wedding, children. ::Repeat cycle with your children:: I don't get why someone's life has to be defined by another person. Sure it'd be nice to have someone there for me all my life and actually be that support system. But I can't say I think it'll happen anymore. It's kind of tragic that at 21 years old, I feel like I've lost too much time to make something so Disney-magical happen. True love is supposed to end "happily ever after" with a prince that "makes dreams come true." False.

Even if I accept true love as a love that is enduring, supportive, accepting, and compassionate, I don't think any human being will ever give the kind of love that the other wants. How tragic is that? We go on thinking we'll find a perfect love or someone out there perfect for us. But I doubt that there is that special someone for everyone. I think some people can find a "perfect" match for them through Christ if they put Him at the center of their relationship, but outside of that I have my doubts of finding a person that really fits me or that I fit them. I've seen too many stories end in divorce, too many relationships that have problems, too many marriages that should not be, and it's just pointless. Some of us were probably meant to be single and unmarried.

Maybe I'm just pessimistic about the whole love thing, but I just can't see it happening for me. I've met many men in my time being single and many men have tried to be with me, get closer to me, etc. But I'm just not interested in any of the pickings right now. True love doesn't exist at the moment, I can't say it ever will but I am highly pessimistic. Who knows what God has in store, maybe I won't be as negative about "true" love if something comes around...slash, if it actually exists.