Losing Heart

"There is a secret set within each of our hearts. It often goes unnoticed, we rarely can put words to it, and yet it guides us throughout the days of our lives. This secret remains hidden for the most part in our deepest selves. It is the desire for life as it was meant to be. Isn't there a life you've been searching for all your days? You may not always be aware of your search, and there are times when you seem to have abandoned looking altogether. But again and again it returns to us, this yearning that calls out from for life we prize. It is elusive, to be sure. It seems to come and go at will. Seasons may pass until it surfaces again. And though it seems to taunt us, and may at times cause us great pain, we know that when it returns it is priceless. For if we could rediscover this desire, unearth it from beneath all other distractions, and embrace it as our deepest treasure, we would discover the secret of our existence."

-John Eldredge, Desire

"It's too late..." "I'm too old..." "I can't..." "I dont' know how to..."

STOP.

Stop the nonsense and listen to yourself. Are you really too old? Can you really not accomplish your goal? I need you to ask yourself this five times. Reflect and then get back to me. I don't believe in excuses, and especially not when they come in the way of getting to your heart's desires. If there is one thing I can take away from my junior year, it is to not settle and to go after my desires. How you go about getting to your heart's desires is the tricky part. But you should never have to sacrifice your own desires if you know that this is what you are after. I did this for too long in my life. I settled and convinced myself that I was happy, confident, and that I believed in my past decisions. I knew for so long what I was after, I knew for so long what could make me happy, and I knew for so long what I wanted. But I bottled it up, and in turn bottled my voice and happiness up. Little spurts of it came out every now and then, but it my desires were quickly fastened up again in their glass container never to reach the air I breathed.

Then I started to think about what I was doing, where I was going, and where I wanted to be. A good exercise for this is to make a list of what you want to do - anything and everything, big or small - and then ask yourself if you are en route to accomplishing all of those things. If you aren't... fix it.

Easier said than done, I am WELL aware. But honesty, if you don't confront yourself and really listen to your desires, your heart will constantly ache to be let free and to be let go. Happiness will be impossible if you do not listen carefully to yourself. Change is inevitable and while I myself am generally fearful of change, I have learned to deal with it and cope as best as possible - so far, so good. I have found myself happier day in and day out - taking steps every day to accomplish my goals and desires. When you accomplish one desire, cross it off your list. And when you hear another whisper from within you, write it down. Your secret "List of Desires" as I like to call it, should be ever changing and always full. As a jump start, I recommend reading John Eldregde's book called "Desire." Not only does it speak of how important it is to listen to yourself, but also sparks conversation about how to get there and how to live a life of passion and fulfillment - the life you were meant to live.

"The greatest human tragedy is to give up searching. Nothing is of greater importance than the life of our deep heart. To lose heart is to lose everything."

Don't lose heart... listen to yourself. ;)