As I sit at the Delta gate ready to board my flight "home" to Miami, my heart does not feel like it left the one bedroom apartment in NJ that it just cohabitated for seven days.
I can feel it throbbing under the thin reversible navy blue comforter aching for its body to come back and keep it alive.
An outer body experience, as my eyes see airplanes, Hudson News stands, and luggage, but my heart, nestled in the bed we shared, feels warm, familiar, and safe.
My heart resisted leaving the strong doorways that slammed shut behind my body forcing me step by step to my chosen life in Miami.
It hopped out stubbornly from my chest, and with each sequential heartbeat, it pumped and jumped from the front door to the bedroom...
lub-dup... lub dup...
Squirting a bit of blood with each beat, a trail of A- blood is unapologetically left over each cold speckled tile in the apartment.
My head feels faint from the lack of oxygen being pumped to it and I can feel my limps slowly losing functionality.
It takes only six minutes without blood for your body to begin deteriorating and your brain cells to begin to perish.
My body wants to go back and collect its stubborn heart - tell it that this is the path I must take, tell it that this is the choice I made, and tell it that this is not my time yet.
But then the engine starts and the car starts to drive away...
The rain outside is a serendipitous parallel to my inner body - empty, cold, and sorrowful.
As we reach the highway to the airport, I know there is no turning back.
My body will have to live sans heart for a bit...
The heart is an ignorant and illogical organ.
It does what it wants and thinks what it wants. My rational head cannot contain its independent nature.
One day I pray that my heart and head will finally agree and be at peace.
My head obliges as I walk onto the plane - "I will see you in July, my stubborn heart."
Enjoy the warm embraces, DJ music, curry chicken, GTA games, and all the laughs.
Please report all of your stories, adventures, and memories back to me in seven months.
I will be eagerly waiting.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Monday, December 9, 2013
The Wait
1268 miles.
One thousand two hundred sixty eight. Twelve sixty eight.
Eighteen hours and sixteen minutes.
Those last grueling sixteen minutes separate the normalcy and monotony of life with bliss.
Waiting patiently…
17 days – 408 hours – 24,480 minutes.
One thousand two hundred sixty eight. Twelve sixty eight.
Eighteen hours and sixteen minutes.
Those last grueling sixteen minutes separate the normalcy and monotony of life with bliss.
Waiting patiently…
17 days – 408 hours – 24,480 minutes.
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