Real talk for a second: This process of marriage is really showing me how selfish I can be in some areas of my life. I woke up analyzing myself and doing self reflection.
I feel like God is revealing a lot of things to me and areas of my life where I need so much spiritual growth. A question as simple as "how are Rondell and I going to get to work and school with one car?" Turned into me thinking he needs his own car, then analyzing why I wouldn't let him use my car, and then me trying to figure out why I see it as "my" car to begin with.
I am seeing these objects as possessions instead of as a financial blessing that God has given me to use for His will. If God were here, it wouldn't be a question if we could use His car. He would give it to us even if we were the worst drivers, or if we crashed His car, or if we never returned it. He would forgive each and every one of us if we did any of those things and came to Him with a heart of remorse and regret. He gave us all His possessions and even His only son!!!! He was completely selfless!
It amazes me... The more I analyze things, the more I know that marriage is about becoming more Christ-like and holy.... pushing us as individuals to become more like Him. Dying to our own selfish needs and desires to put someone else first the way Christ gives to us so freely.
It is a little scary and overwhelming. It feels challenging and I know I have a lot to learn. But I am so grateful for Rondell's patience and grace with me even when I am thinking the wrong way. Marriage is going to be a journey and I hope to share and be as real with you all as possible! If I can help one of you the way Brittany & Everett or Darlin & Bleigh have helped me, it's worth it! It's always good to have spiritual mentors who have walked through what we have and are open to share.
