Surreal Paralysis

Leeches are an interesting parasite; they feed on blood and can store up to five times the body mass of that blood. 

They take in so much liquid that they only need to feed twice a year. 

They also, surprisingly, have two suckers, one at each end to silently and painlessly take in the sustenance and constituents of your being from either end. 

There is no clandestine trap door to exit their solid grasp once they’ve grabbed hold.

New York City is a leech to me; a bloodsucking, thirsty, ungrateful, so-black-it’s-purple leech. 

This is the city where your hopes and dreams come to rest in a graveyard of concrete. 

Where the rudimentary jungle is a labyrinth of skyscrapers that are constructed with lost aspirations cemented into their walls.

Where being a single “independent” 30 yr old career woman is swooned upon,

All the while she yearns in her heart for a companion, desperately seeking him out in a selfish workplace and inebriated bar scene – or better yet the anonymous cosmos of the internet.

Where working fifty to sixty hour work weeks is normal,

And where lunch breaks are unheard of.

The city where nightlife is a meat market for perverts to pick their meal for the evening,

And where men outnumber their counterparts making them eager for the next exciting rendezvous with an anonymous wet pussy.

(Which is not to say that one should frown upon that disposable life if that is what you chose, but this is not the life for me.)

This is the city where it is normal to cohabitate with rodents and roaches,

Where people look forward to crowding a numbered or lettered cart during rush hour as their mode of transportation,

Only to smell a pungent body odor or get a quick watery spray of a stranger’s snot.

Where walking by a person with no home and no food is a common occurrence – but don’t worry, you are not obliged – walking by and ignoring their humanity is ordinary too.

Where your sidewalks trade green trees and kids on bicycles for massive bags of trash and predators lurking in disguise.

Where people buy dogs as a replacement for children and adorn them with clothes, buying them gourmet food.

This is the city where lies are rampant, deceit is an epidemic of the common cold, and truth is an evasive concept.

Where churches adorn every street in opulence, glory, and mystery, but behind the aesthetic doors on Sunday, the pews are left half empty.

Where women camouflage their innate giving and caring nature behind pearls, sleek straight hair, an aggressive countenance, and rosy blush just to impress and advance in big business.

Now, don’t get me wrong, all of New York City is not wretched.

There are those transient moments of peace while running in Astoria Park, taking a stroll on the Highline, or sitting on the benches at the Brooklyn Promenade at dusk.

Those moments are very far and few between – evanescent and too pathetic to constitute for a quality of life argument.

There are places in this world where the streets are quiet, almost eerily desolate, and peaceful.

Where children still play outside and neighborhoods throw block parties.

Places where the water gently crashes into the surf creating white sand and a serene backdrop for a beach house.

Where our backyards are not views into another complex, but are grassy acres of land filled with swimming pools and fireflies instead of a rat’s arresting eyes.

Places where men regard a woman as a treasured gem – where chivalry and traditional morals reign.

Where women are not afraid to admit that they want love and a settled life in their twenties - instead of chasing an unfulfilling career that will not cradle you and comfort you when you are at your worst.

Places where one can truly experience a Buddhist nirvana – that salient moment of enlightenment and wonder where peace can be attained.

This city boasts to offer so much – career advancement, networking, the best public transportation, and the bright alluring lights. 

All of which are an illusion created to distract and deter one from the true meaning of this fleeting life.

A life of peace, of happiness, and full of love. 

Love being the unparalleled superlative of them all – the collage of relationships that brings value and meaning to the beginning, the middle, and the end of our lives.

New York City, it’s been real. 

I am ready for a deeper life constructed of breathing in the sweet aroma of fresh air seasoned with an ocean saltiness. 

Florida calls to my soul. 

"I’m coming", I whisper back. 

"Ya vengo."